It’s about half way through August, which means you have likely been denying the existence of back to school commercials for about 2 and a half months now. Not that we’re experts, but here are some tips on how to cope with this dreaded time of year.
Step one: Denial
Don’t turn on your radio or T.V., don’t step foot into a staples or Wal-Mart, and don’t log into your school email account for the next 2 weeks. You will only find propaganda spewing poison about the least wonderful time of year. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life right now. Make summer last as long as you can.
Step two: Binging
Finish whatever Netflix series you started, because its near impossible to get any school work done if all you can think about is Alex and Piper from OITNB.
Step three: Acceptance
Two weeks from now, when summer is coming to an end, you should probably start the actual process of physically preparing for back to school. To do this, refer to steps four through seven.
Step four: Unnecessary Spending
Spend all of your hard earned money on new clothes and accessories so that you actually have something to look forward to for the first week of school.
Step five: Extreme Inevitable Unnecessary Spending
Even though you already have the necessary stationary left over from last year, buy new pencils, pens, sharpies, white-out, and other things you don’t need and probably won’t use. Why? Because they’re new and exciting.
Step six: Rehabilitation
Start a new T.V. series, because you finished your last one and need something to watch in between lectures. Who cares about school work anyways.
Step seven: Admit Defeat
Buy lots of comforting snacks to prepare for the pre-midterm depression, and accept that summer is another 8 months away.